You Fear That What You Despise
Dadashri: You will fear anyone or anything that you have contempt for. Why do you fear the policeman? It is because you have scorn for him. Whatever you disdain will cause you fear. If you have scorn for mosquitoes, they will not leave you alone at night. If you have contempt for courts or lawyers, you will have a fear of entering the courthouse. Why do you not fear someone you know? It is because you do not feel any scorn for him.

Questioner: Does contempt come first, or does fear come first?
Dadashri: First there is contempt. It is not fear that comes first. How is that? Somewhere, you may have heard that policemen are really bad. So, you have a prior knowledge because of which you develop contempt for them. That scorn gives rise to fear which increases gradually over time. Then when you see a policeman, you become nervous, even if he approaches to ask you for an address. 

How Harmful Is Dismissing With Contempt?

Questioner: What is the difference between scorn (tiraskar) and tarchhod (dismissing with contempt)?
Dadashri: At times, one may not even be aware of scorn (tiraskar). Scorn is a completely a mild thing, whereas tarchhod (dismissing with contempt) is fierce, and it can instantly cause a person to ‘bleed’. This bleeding is not of the physical body. It is the mind that bleeds.

Questioner: What are the consequences of tarchhod and tiraskar?
Dadashri: You may not even discern the consequence of tiraskar, but that of tarchhod is huge. Tarchhod causes all kinds of obstacles. So, it will not allow you to attain things, and it will create all sorts of misery. What can tarchhod not do? It has given rise to the entire world. That is why I tell you one thing, and that is, “Let go of your enmity and vengeance (veyr), and beware that you are not contemptuous towards anyone”.

I would not even be scornful with the person who lovingly gave me ‘poison’. What if you throw a stone in the mud? Is it going to mess up the mud? The mud is already soiled, but you will get splattered. Hence, the Vitarags were very clever indeed; they would move around without contempt for any living being. Tarchhod closes all the doors. The person you dismiss with contempt (tarchhod) will never again open his door to you. Physical scars may heal, but the scars caused by speech do not heal throughout a person’s entire lifetime. Many scars will not heal even after a hundred lifetimes.

What Is The Solution For Tarchhod?

Questioner: What should we do to make sure that we do not have to suffer the consequences of tarchhod?
Dadashri: There is no solution for that other than to keep doing pratikraman. You have to do that until the other person’s mind comes around. And should you come face to face with him, ask for his forgiveness nicely: “My friend, I am sorry that I was wrong. I am such a fool. I have no sense.” And so, his scars will begin to heal. A person likes it when you criticise yourself, and that will heal his scars.

If you want to be happy in life, then don’t do tarchhod towards anyone! Whom are you doing tarchhod to? To God Himself as God resides in every being!

For more information on Dadashri’s spiritual science, visit dadabhagwan.org